Thursday, February 25, 2010

bruise like a peach

i've been having weird visions in my head about dragons.....and flight of dragons' been on my mind all day....i've perhaps unveiled da most outrageous revelation of my life. hahaha then again i might be reading too much into it.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

i heart lol

Flight of Dragons

Flight of dragons soar in the purple light
In the sky or in my mind
Flight of dragons sail past reality
Leave illusion behind

Is it the past I see
When I look up to the heavens
Believing in the magic
That I know could never be

I want to go where they are going
Into the world they've been
Can I open up my mind enough to see

Flight of dragons, heavenly argosies
Catch the wind, rise out of sight
Flight of dragons, pilots of fantasy
In the sky or in my mind

Flight of dragons
Flight of dragons

wow i love this song...haha

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

im a dragonologist

da more i research da more confused i become. and i came across da strangest thing. lolol..did you know that pontianak is not a ghost but actually considered to be da malaysian vampire? the pontianak was a female vampire that sucked da blood of newborns, and sometimes young children and pregnant women. hahah researching such stuff at 2.30am is really bad for da heart..

anyway..every site on dragon mythology has diverse ideas and beliefs. and only this particular site speaks about yellow dragons being evil...the universe has been cursed by the ensouling forces, dragonsouls..through their own dissonant thoughtform, and  karma, curses and spells between the dragons also reveals humans also have these ensoulments...dragonsouls manifested in humans through da i guess what this site is trying to say is this...ever wondered what you ever did do to deserve this? you may be a help da defend da weak you are even vegetarian...haha of course this is an exaggerated example...but somehow da shittiest shit still happens to you? so da origins of unjust karma is said to be da curses placed upon dragons on other dragons...and da discord and disharmony within their own lack of balance. haha so we are still fighting an age old war that does not belong to us. this actually sounds pretty cool..but i believe that humanity has brought upon karma on need these dragons' karma also. lol those who haven't received their well deserved karma..well beware. lol

  • The Azure Dragon [Qinglong 青龍] spirits, most compassionate kings.
  • The Vermillion Dragon [Zhulong 朱龍] spirits, kings that bestow blessings on lakes.
  • The Yellow Dragon [Huanglong 黃龍] spirits, kings that favorably hear all petitions.
  • The White Dragon [Bailong 白龍] spirits, virtuous and pure kings.
  • The Black Dragon [Xuanlong 玄龍] spirits, kings dwelling in the depths of the mystic waters.
so in chinese mythology...da above are da classifications of da coloured dragons....yellow dragon here completely different and not de end i still dont get my dreams and if there's any possible connection between wells....

Monday, February 22, 2010

dreams of dragons

haha i dreamed about dragons again! 5 different dragons dead tired from an exciting night but at least my mental state is somewhat happy..lolol you know how sometimes when you'd wake up from a long night's rest but still feel soo tired and muscles are aching and all? i guess it's cos da you in dreams was running around and having fun. LOL sometimes i feel like i incur injuries from my dreams too..once i woke up feeling like someone punched me in da eye. hahaha oh oh..anyway my memory's kinda vague...ugh i hate it when i cant remember every single detail. yea but there was this hugeeeeeeeeee ass lake..and there were 5 sleeping dragons in it..and each dragon represented a different power. they were all of different colours too..there was a metal element one..that could turn into blades and slice stuff...and one that controlled water and could cause whirlpools and all....and i couldnt remember da rest......................stupid. anyway we needed to borrow da dragons' we had to go into da lake and try to wake we did and of course they were disturbed and angry cos like thousand years slumber and awoken by some idiot LOL so there was like a battle in da lake trying to calm them and get them to lend us their power...i was on da their backs being flung around like a doll LOL..yea but we managed to get them to aid they would transform into orbs of their elements...and we had to absorb them into our bodies...yea...i cant really remember why we need their powers or what state da world was in...sigh..hopefully there'll be a continuation tonight. lolol

Meaning of Dragons in Dreams
This large, mystical creature may represent large and mystical forces inside of you. In the Far-East it is believed that the dragons are spiritual creatures that navigate through the air and through the sky. In the West, dragons are considered to be dangerous creatures that need to be destroyed. As far as dream symbols go, the dragon may represent the enormous power in your unconscious. It could symbolize repressed unconscious material, including fear. However, the dragon in our dreams is generally a positive symbol. It may represent a period of time when the dreamer will confront his fears and empower himself to effectively cope with negative emotions, extreme materialism, and be able to obtain greater inner and outer freedom.

Dragon Traditions of Myth in East & West

Dragons have a deeply rooted connotation in Western culture associating them with evil, whereas in Eastern stories they can also be kind and are considered very wise

The Western Dragon Tradition

Western dragons aren't necessarily evil - but they often are. At the very least they tend to be solitary and bad-tempered.

The typical Western dragon - or Wyrm - is a large, scaly creature resembling a dinosaur or a large lizard. It usually has wings and can fly, often it will breathe fire.

Western dragons tend to live in caves in mountains or hidden away in the forests. They often guard a stash of gold. Western dragons are often used to symbolise greed.
Note: Caves symbolize the unconscious. In dreams a dragon in a cave would often symbolize unconscious fears, or a need to confront and slay unconscious fears.

Dragons vary as much as people do. Although many Western dragons are brutal, ignorant creatures who kill and eat humans others are ancient, wise creatures more akin to those found in the East. 


The Oriental Dragon Tradition

Whereas Western dragons are usually found in mountains or forests, Oriental dragons are more likely to be found in the sea. Many oriental dragons resemble water snakes.

Oriental dragons rarely breath fire, instead if a mortal annoys one then it is likely to result in great floods.
Note: When confronting the unconscious there is often a reluctance by the conscious mind to accept what is there. Often the conscious ego will throw annoying barriers so one will continue to repress or ignore unconscious contents.

The traditional Western dragon is often seen as a brutish creature to be feared. Oriental dragons tended to be wise and benevolent - as long as they were given the respect they deserved. Their chief flaw was their vanity and if insulted could cause dreadful natural disasters.

Oriental dragons fly to and from heaven in clouds but do not usually have wings. Some sources say that they gain wings after living for a thousand years. 

lololol sooooooooo awesomeeeeeee...i always dream of oriental dragons though..oh power. i am researching dragons right now and i found interesting yet not too good? lol i am so bloody confused right now. i dreamed of a yellow dragon..he was da main one in da lake that i was trying to borrow power from..and it's da most harmful of all dragons. this site says that it's because of da dissonance  between dragon souls that has become humanities karma today...


Blue Dragon –   music, dance, arts  /   altruism, pretense, misrepresentation,  care-taking
Yellow Dragon – power,  control /   demoniacal, hunt, malice, torture
Red Dragon -  intellect, philosophy /  confuse, science, enmity, humiliation
Dark Green Dragon -  caution, balance / hunted, ritual, servility
Violet Dragon – wisdom, vision – Universal Truth and Service – no negative
Orange Dragon – friendship (therefore can be manipulated) / needy, slavery, discontent, revengeful
Green Dragon -  peace, humble / avoidance, misinterpretation, prostitution

it also says that we may have ancestors that have brought about curses of da dragons thus leading to da karma we may face today...or we may have part of da original dragon soul residing us...that causes us to face curses that other dragons cast upon so confused. i dreamed of blue dragons da other day and they were my allies..and now i dream of myself asking a yellow dragon for help which was apparently cursed by da blue dragons because it has fallen to an ugly dark evil being...i really wanna read more but im bloody late for okay i'll read more and blog later..byebyeeeee

Saturday, February 20, 2010


it's morning..and i haven't slept a wink. im afraid...that its gonna be a dead end. it's not enough to be like every other one out there. just to be able to do what i want...those simple things...i need to be greater than great.



still gonna have a busy weekend though. sigh..i kinda miss doing and thinking nothing.

i lie awake and think of nothing...
i went to school but i learned nothing...
i go to work and still do nothing...
now i fall asleep with dreams of nothing...

but because of nothing...
i fall asleep dreaming of something...
i go to work and must do something...
i went to school and learned some things...
but i still lie awake and think of nothing...

so while i lie awake and think of nothing...
i hope my dreams would be full of something...
and work or school would be nothing but fun things...
so everyday would be everything but nothing...

lol just something random..

Friday, February 19, 2010

fish for thought

it just dawned upon me that im starting to hate humans less? or was it that i didnt really hate them in da first place? i dont hate people individually...but i blame humanity as a whole for causing da world to be like this? well that's a major generalization of course...i still cant bring myself to like people very much. if i could i wouldnt be having problems right now. i couldnt care less if people like me or not. LOL..and this is a major obstacle...stupid shit. i need people to like me to succeed. but i have to like them first. ugh. it shows a lot in my music. damnn..i like kids and old people though. kids cos they're still innocents. old people cos they've seen and been through they end up grumpy..or nice cos they realise what's truly important. lol animals still da best..i think i've got animal pheromone alice LOL's kinda strange..but totally awesomeee LOL i should shuddup and go sleep. and stop blogging cos i have nonsense stuck in my head. lolol. byebyeee

once again..naruto rocks my socks

"I don't care who I have to fight... If someone rips my arms off, I'll kick him to death... If he rips my legs off, I'll bite him to death... If he rips my head off, I'll stare him to death...and if he gouges my eyes, I'll curse him to death... Even if I'm torn to shreds...I'll find a way to take Sasuke back!

came across this quote while surfing naruto wikia....remembered being totally awed when naruto first said it to sai....i want to have this kind of determination.....haha....i wish there were narutos bright and warming.....

shio and i were bickering da other day...about pimps...LOL she was saying how she wouldnt mind being a pimp cos she'd earn money...and she's just da middle person..and how these sluts/whores are da ones at fault for wanting to earn money by sleeping i was telling her that it may not be something that they wanna do..maybe circumstances or what. even so..this is a product of desensitization. sex and morals being's just that society..masscommi and all...propagate such ideas whether intentionally or not...and it causes people to be indifferent to such things...and focus more on economic affairs and commercialism (not forgetting da art of outdoing..outclassing..and surpassing each other using whatever means possible lol) im here insisting that it's not their fault...and even as a middle person...though you are not at directly at'd be part of that entire dirty cycle..and you'd be indirectly encouraging girls to make easy money using morally wrong means. right rightt?? so shio said but she wouldnt be encouraging them...they are girls everywhere who are like that. yea so we started da argument again. LOL then she scold me naive and stupid...even if you tell these girls to find other ways to earn money or what...they'd still do it cos easy money. blah blah blah...but rather than being a part of this cycle. i rather be out of it and persuade them to not to do such things...haha..we bickered as if she was really gonna be a pimp..LOL in de end shio said no point world's not gonna change. then scold me naive again LOL then i said but da world is how obama's actions are moving people. then she said obama's da're not president. you want to be president is it?  HAHAHA i think our convo is damn funny. if im president...wahaha i cant even imagine. i think i'd trip while walking onto da podium. LOLOL

oh boy im doing nonsense at 6.40am....i've been awfully positive and annoying these's kind of disgusting HAHA...i'd always been fluctuating...between light and's like always wanted to believe...but things get me so i'd go hide in my world hating hole....but i guess recent events really got me believing and hoping again. so i wont waiver anymore....if this chance were to backfire certain that im never ever gonna go back into da light again. it'd be just like what shio says....da only light that illuminates da darkness is da light showing da dead end sign. so i really pray that that wont be da case...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

animal faces

im gonna imagine animal faces everytime i sing. feels really good..when i sing to glitz or karu...and i sing with much more sincerity. i was singing while walking home was da middle of da night so it was real quiet...was singing rainbow connection...haha it was so peaceful..wind blowing..leaves rustling....was strolling even swinging my hands and all...just me in my little fairy world....and all of a sudden a guy walks past me. LOLOL so embarrassing! oh wells...

The Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.  

someday..we'll find it..the rainbow connection...da lovers..da dreamers and meeee....

Monday, February 15, 2010


i just found something totally fascinating and had to blog about it! 

the devil's everlasting contract with of the seven princes of hell...

"I'll be your comrade true,
Here to your service i will bind me.
Beck when you will,
I will not pause or rest.
But in return when yonder you will find me.
Then likewise shall you be at my behest."

and da mortal faust replies...

"The yonder is to me a trifling matter.
'Tis from this earth my pleasure springs,
And this sun shines upon my suffering;
If to the moment I shall ever say:
'Ah, linger on, thou art so fair!'
Then may you fetters on me lay,
Then will I perish, then and there!"

it's exactly like what they say when people supposedly sell their souls to get whatever they want in this life...but in da afterlife their souls would forever be bound to da devil...

okay dont ask me what im doing at 5 am in da morning..i dont know either hahaha

(p.s. happy lunar new year and valentine's day lol)

just one phrase..

this one unexpected phrase....just made everything better. and for all da shit that im going through..i know i am going da right way. "keep on singing..and help keep da fairytales alive okay?" hahaha so touched..

Sunday, February 14, 2010

i need to buy more glue.

omg omg omg omg omg oh my godddddddddddddddd. i am fucking thankful i have da determination of a rock. this is so fucking tough. and it's not even about musicality. that's da fucking easiest. i will fucking make it through all da fucking way. yes i can and will. okay i need to fucking hit myself. and get a fucking grip. i need to do this. for da sake of my greater dream. just keep thinking about that...yea it'll be worth it. it will.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

hi grandpa

my granddad's in singapore...he's gonna be here for a week. he's da only one in my family who actually likes music..he used to play da accordion..when asked what i was mom gave da embarrassed look and said im singing and playing piano. very throw face meh bitch. i still feel like shit. and my looks match too. lol. horrible outbreak...dark circles puffy eyes. all in all i look like da living dead. im really living (lol no pun intended) up to my new nickname 'Ponti'...aka pontianak. sigh im so cranky and moody..and my family's really not making it better. it's really so hurting..that out of everyone they are da ones who mock my dreams da most.

haha oh you know what's funny? hahaha i've got a mask on now...FACIAL mask LOLOL haha omg im retarded.

jon jovan annee............i dont mind if you call me ponti...i miss hanging out with you guys...i keep spamming our forest lullaby video la...haha.....stupid fatty in sydney.....(ToT)

it's a song i wrote for jon...dedicated to him and all his friends...i'll be recording a better version next time...but for

The Forest Lullaby

lalala laa x 6

A midsummer's dream was how we met it seem
A bright starlit sky with dragons flying high
A twinkling melody of crickets in harmony
While all the fairies swoon under the sleeping moon

lalala laa x 3

It's like we were caught in a spell
Or a wish from a magic well
Did we sprinkle pixie dust?
To make this moment last..

Fall asleep to the forest lullaby
In this dream there will never be goodbyes
Hearts entwined we will meet again someday
Once upon a land far far away

lalala laa x 3

A rainbow fantasy where unicorns came to be
Where magical creatures play hide and seek all day
While gnomes speak in rhyme bells of laughter chime
Then we all sing along to the little sparrow's song

lalala laa x 3

It's like we were caught in a spell
Or a wish from a magic well
Did we sprinkle pixie dust?
To make this moment last..

Fall asleep to the forest lullaby
In this dream there will never be goodbyes
Hearts entwined we will meet again someday
Once upon a land far far away

Fall asleep to the forest lullaby
In this dream there will never be goodbyes
Hearts entwined we will meet again someday
Once upon a land far far away

lalala laa x 3

today or yesterday?

let's see which was or yesterday...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Scarlet skies behold a bitter moon
Heaven's fury's bound to come soon
Whilst you reap tears of the weeping willow
Milky twilight trail I must seek and follow
In wistful blue dreams I drown and wallow
Oh pray should do so
Where..Oh where is the green faerie's moon?
Where is the cow who jumped over the moon?
Wont you lead me afar to the faerie moon..
Wont you take me away to the faerie moon...

sent jon off today...practice didnt go well...guess was kinda emo and moody....and when i came back...i read one piece manga....omg....made me even more sad....major just gonna say a main chara died....i have to go for training early tomorrow...i really dont feel like it...=(

oh i had strange dreams dreamed that i found a dead animal under my void was some squirrel skunk? im not sure...then i was like damn i have to bury another animal?...but while i was nudging woke up..and transformed into some other unknown looked like an evil black fawn...and it kept jumping around following me..wanting to be pat...kinda had razor sharp teeth though...and even though it looked really fluffy..its fluff was hard as armor....hahaha...oh and i was at da ocean and a bunch of water dragons rose outta water...fucking was lightning in da background and we needed da dragons' help for what i forgot....and da dragons had to come on land....but they didnt walk or swam in the air...they're da wingless species...hahaha and i got to ride fun!...alright..mata yume no jikan dayo...byeebyee

Monday, February 8, 2010

bury da castle..

Brick By Boring Brick Lyrics

She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she's left behind
It's all about the exposure the lens I told her
The angles were all wrong now
She's ripping wings off of butterflies
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle; bury the castle
Ba da ba ba da ba ba ha

So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
But it was a trick
And the clock struck 12
Well make sure to build your house brick by boring brick
or the wolves gonna blow it down
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah you built up a world of magic
If it's not real
You can't hold it in your hand
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Or even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah
Go get your shovel
We'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
ba da ba ba da da ba da......
ba da ba ba da ba ba da..... 

absolutely love love loveeeee this song...da mtv is mad never gonna bury da castle gonna build it brick by boring brick!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

to be continued..

ugh so irritating..that was da max i could type via phone...anyway water seems to be a common theme in my dreams...feels really really good...'touch' wise lol..luckily i don't wet da bed LOL now if i could just minus da gore..i wanna dream of eating lol i seldom bowl of tomyum beehoon please! Lol

Tomyam beehoon

i feel like eating sim's tomyum beehoon now..denise la! that was da last thing she said before she went to sleep lol omg 'm so tired and greedy..discovered my new craving too da fried tanghoon from lavender food square is to die for! lol da hokkien mee is so disgusting though damn how am i gonna sleep when my mind's full of food! sigh 'm so tired had an exhausting night full of dreams again..there was death and it was about glitz but i manage to turn da dream around and save her..i hate dreaming about glitz in such a way...makes losing her even more terrifying than it already is. as usual there were fights and wars ongoing and somehow me and glitz got caught up in it..glitz was pierced in da abdomen by several shards of glass..but she didn't care and kept on running around happily..i quickly rushed her to da hospital begging her to stop moving cos she was losing a lot of blood..yea she was rushed into surgery and meanwhile a doc told me that she would tend to my wounds and it was then that i realised that i was stabbed with shards of glass too..but i said it was okay just concentrate on glitz...and apparently i had some healing super so i was okay. da doc then told me it was too late she was gonna die all her internal organs were destroyed and she lost too much blood. omg..then she said if i was able to transfer some of my life energy to her I'd be able to save i did and glitz lived! what a relief...i had like four dreams last night. and two of them had da most amount of water i had ever dreamed of. a underwater cave surrounded by oceans..a hogwarts like school invaded and flooded by water...i previously had avatar-esque like dreams where i wasn't human and was part of a water tribe species too..another one where my clan were slaves to an alien race and a water pipe was plunged through my abdomen while they were toying with us...that was in a luminous water ruins surrounded by forest kind of atmosphere...there was a water theme park with actual waterfalls and rivers one so fun!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


looks like i got my composing mojo 3 songs in two is some rubbish song about ahbakus LOL what da hell is that? haha no da wayyyyyyyyy denise is backkkk! gotta go pick her up at da airport tomorrow..okayyy i oughta go sleep so tired byebye

Monday, February 1, 2010


omg omg omg omggggggggggg at da latest one piece ep...sigh i already read da manga but watching it makes it more heartrending...luffy freaking rocks...he should be everyone's role model! lol yes i have major respect and admiration for a made up character..da determination to never give matter da stand up again and again and again and matter da self sacrifice he has to make...WAO! so many anime characters are like that...naruto..itachi...rock real life..such people are mocked to be not know their limits..sore losers..delusional..blah blah blah. if you look at those people standing at da top of'd come to realise that they are also such people. da people who continued to believe..wanting change..aiming for da top. obama is a dreamer...who has da power to make his dreams for america come true. look at da change he has brought about since his inauguration as president. haiti worst earthquake ever? no..there was an earthquake in indonesia around 2004 that was even worst..did people know? errr i dont think so. da world is becoming a more compassionate place..because of da acts of one person. so many people are putting in a conscious effort to help haiti...and less people are saying that it has nothing to do with them. so my point is...dont mock dreamers! hahaha or rather go ahead and mock'd just make them more determined. i think im stronger because so many people mock me haha thanks idiottsss LOL