why cant life give me strawberries instead of lemons?

i really wish life would just stop kicking me down. seriously hope what awaits at da end would be worth it. im a huge gambler afterall. for this minuscule possibility..i'd fall and get up no matter how many times it takes. losing a little bit of myself every time i fall...dont wanna be left with nothing but an empty shell. i miss my mentally happy self. 


I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

Hear it! I'm screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I'm so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so
I'm so sick
I'm so
I'm so sick


im really so fuckin sick of this. when will my existence finally be acknowledged? sick of watching everything go by.