im glad im a klutz lol

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super late resolutions

lol i just realised i haven't made my resolutions for 2010! haha not really important but i just wanted to compare it to last year's resolution and gloat LOL

resolutions for 2009

by march latest...master hibari's theme song....

sigh i didnt master it TSK

i must make it by this year....

LOL i have yet to make it but i finally have an opportunity to!

learn another language..probably french...

lol too busy

become thinner...(shuddup all of you)...

i got thinner and fatter too LOL

become closer to da me i know i can be....

uhuh yea

get out of this place...with glitz..shio and karu....

SOON!

improve at da piano...and singing...

YES I DID

meet some mythical and magical creatures...haha..

i didnt see fairies or meet vampires but i met someone who believes in them too and that itself is mythical and magical to me! what are da odds that i would find another person as strange as me! LOLOL

i hope this list will change next year....

YES IT WILL LOL

resolutions for 2010

continue to improve at piano and vocals

become thinner and stay that way

put in my all in achieving my long last dream and dont give up no matter what

im only gonna make 3 resolutions this year...and i wanna shout to da world...THAT AFTER SO MANY YEARS MY LIFE IS FINALLY NOT STAGNANT ANYMORE WAHAHAHAHAHA okay time to shuddup LOLOL

random rondam

first lemme wish karu a happy belated birthday!!

his birthday was on da 25th..brought glitz and him to botanic gardens on da night of da 24th..was kinda dark but at least they got to see turtles popping their heads outta da pond..lol..and on da actual day karu got a surprise visit from jon and jovan! they got cuttlefish treats for him...he refused to eat it but jovan kept forcing him..so evil..LOL he kept making glitz do tricks for nothing also BOOOO lol...then we six had a mini chill jam picnic session at our void deck...and as usual da two suaners kept making fun of me and jon (ToT) haha...really grateful for these fleeting moments of fun though..chases all da boohoos away..lol..

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mics are friends

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ha ha ha..

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heartless freaks

it's not there...da box and da bottle is gone..and da daisy was stepped on...i mean it's obvious it's a grave right...how would you feel if someone ransacked your grave and stepped on da flowers that people gave you...have some respect for da dead man...and life for that matter....did you feel bad throwing away its coffin? no choice is it? must keep singapore clean? cant wait a few days at least until da flower dies? wow fuck you..whatever your reason....feel bad no choice...cant do anything...how many people out there would think like that...someone else would do it...so there's no need for me to do it...you justify yourselves thinking that it's enough that you feel guilty....ohh so righteous already right....you see someone getting molested take picture....car accident...slow down and kpo....oh deep inside you feel bad for da person..but noone bothers doing anything.....yes yes i should shuddup about my about my holier than thou attitude...im only human after all....and i wish i wasnt one. it's only worth helping animals..

R.I.P

you've gotta be kidding me...what is going on with these nightmares signs and omens...i buried a dead baby bird today..it was on da pavement...and it looked a little flattened...i guess someone stepped on it...it probably happened just a couple of hours ago because its body was still soft and limp...and there was no stench....so for a few hours...people who walked past just kicked its body around...and noone bothered picking it up....really...humans just disgust me sometimes...most of da time actually....got a box and a white daisy for it...placed it at da base of a tree....said some stuff...hopefully to appease its soul....ugh...fucking people

a dream is a wish your heart makes..

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

lol

omens

anyone knows da meaning of a beheaded deer? da deer head on my animal charm came off...deers are extremely symbolic and said to be guardian spirits of forests....spirits of gentleness and compassion...sigh...furthermore...i heard something strange on da phone just now....something was talking...and it's not my imagination....life is actually pretty good right now...despite how stressful and fleeting it may be....but these signs and omens just keep coming.....i really hope nothing bad happens...

wth...

god i've been emo all day...even people who heard me sing could tell...lol...kinda happens when you have images of bloodstained children and monster's horn piercing outta mom's body stuck in your head...amazingly..this isnt da worst...it's only bad because there are children in it....sigh...even now...when i think back about that nightmare...gives me da freaking creeps...even after i woke up i could still feel da cold clammy corpse in my arms....couldnt stop crying for a few days...everytime i thought about it....da loneliness and hopelessness lingered on for even longer....continued feeling da non existent corpse for days that came....sigh....i really need to rest...please dont let this be for 4th night....

ghastly dreams..

this is da 3rd consecutive night i've dreamt about death...it's been a while since i had such nightmares....they appear once in a while amidst my usual dreams but never consecutively...stupid..always so gruesome and gory...and my friends wonder why i cant watch gore..i have enough of it man...lol...i usually enjoy my nightly adventures..be it nightmare or dream...gives me such a rush of power and excitement that i cant get in reality....makes me feel...more...but these nights are taking a toll on me...i wake up feeling more tired than da day before...and da feeling of despair lingers on da entire day....haha..im already stressed out as it is because of stuff going on in real life....last night...there were children in my dream....there were never children...it was da first.....covered in blood and all....monsters or aliens were taking over people....and we finally tracked them down....only to realise that they were all just minions.....and da monster queen was residing in da children's mom.....she was gonna kill da kids....and we were forced to kill their mom in front of them.....managed to save da kids....only to realise that i was actually da kids older sis....and i was da one who killed my mom.....fucking terrific isnt it....i feel like shit...and i have to go for training now....byee...

happy days are never made to last....any sense of normalcy now is just da calm before storm...

fucking assault on my soul...
fucking irony full of woe...
fucking let me do as i please...
before all life's meanin starts to cease..

i shouldn't be wishing or hoping for any other things right now...lest it all backfires..i cant have anything backfire right now..not right now...not when it's already within my grasp...

strange..

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sigh..

guess what...i cant sleep again..i've been thinking of lotsa stuff lately...well more than usual anyway...and it just hit me that im really self absorbed...as in not in a narcissistic way but...i keep thinking that im da only one who thinks like that and noone could possibly understand me....i've thought like that for a long long time...and it has caused me to shun a lot of people...i've come to discover that there are other weirdos out there too...haha...perhaps different kinds of weirdos..but weirdos nonetheless...okay i should use da term eccentric people...i guess one of da key factors that caused these people to elude me is because....i act normal and carefree most of da time...be whoever i wanna be whenever situations arise....da social butterfly...da antisocial punk...da emo....da bimbo....da gamer...da rocker...da 5 year old kid....whatever.....but it's real simple actually....who i really am....im a dreamer...haha...

again and again...

ugh..this is so bloody annoying..i cant sleep again...must be 2010 jitters...

何でまだここにいるんだ。。アタシの人生どんな方へ行くんだよ。。音楽やれば別に幸せになる訳ないでしょう。。最近、本物の夢が考えてるばっかり。。音楽よりの夢。。最終は音楽をすれば何か合える気がする。。その為にずっとずっと長い間音楽をして、もっともっと音楽に好きになったですが、オリジナル夢どんどん忘れてしまった。忘れてないかもしれないんだが、もう考えたくない。有り得ないんだ。。アタシの夢幻。。妄想してるばっかり。情けない。だけど、まだまだあきらめない。あきらめたら、今死ねばいいじゃん。活きる理由もないし。。死ぬまで信じていく。

YEAR 2010

~明けましておめでとうございます~
v(>m<)v

２０１０年も始まりまして、一番のポストが日本語でやりします！あまり時間がないから、日本にいる友達には連絡がしませんでした。シンガポールにいる友達にも、もし連絡しなかったら、ここで言います！このポスト読めば、ごめんと「Happy New Year」！

New Year's Eveは、ナイトサファリに行きました！超楽しかった。昔一緒にアルバイトをした人たくさん出会った。懐かしかった～その後は、Countdown Partyに行って、Supperを食べたり、友達と話したり、ゲームも遊んだ。朝っぱら６時ぐらいやっと帰ってしまった。

２００９年は本当の事言えば、最低だった。男に騙されて、一人の友達が失って、夢もまだ適ってなくて、まだ私がここにいる存在の理由は見つけられないんだ。それなのに、闇の中で光が少しずつ 現れた。新バンドと仲間ができて、私のように非現実的な生物が大好きな人も友達になった！君らのお蔭で２００９年は最後にはよくなりました。

me, jon, weyman LOL

princess alamin from dubai LOL

 

da terrorist, da pontianak, and da hostage jovanchi LOL

ありがとうございます！今年も宜しくお願いします～

....and to end of na'vi style...LOL...

Mipa zìsìt lefpom ngaru! Eywa ngahu.