i've forgotten what's its like to be this stressed out because of studies....last time is was this bad was during a levels...once again da feelings sucks like fuck...and ya know what's da worst thing? im not stressed because im studying hard or what...it's cos im forcing myself to be motivated to actually do something about it....why? who knows why...why when im not interested in getting a degree...why when im gonna die anyway...why when i dont wanna be here...why when im not gonna pursue a job that's related to it....why when it's only a piece of paper....why cant i just do it and get it over and done with right....i finally understand what triggers da relapses....haha....what a convenient excuse...then again it will only be seen as an excuse...nothing more....how long more will this last....
greatness and i went to check out da upper thomson and buona vista circuits da other night....hahaha so fun...if only everyday was like that...anyway i was driving again...lol and at da thomson circuit there was this spot called da devil's bend.....lol...woohoo would love to say that i drifted there but since it was an accident...skidded okay.....lol....seriously skidded tires screeching and all and greatness was scared shitless...okay fine not shitless but i could tell you were scared....lol....afterall me being at da wheel....kinda reckless...lol..but oh wells....i always known that i never feared death....but to be close and really not feel fear....kinda rocks....hahaha i doubt we were even close to crashing though....but it felt good....im an adrenalin junkie afterall....been close to bedridden these past 3 days....for reasons i shall not disclose....lol.....and it fucking sucks......i hope i'll feel better tomorrow.......honestly....penso che sto morendo.....it feels close....or something's gonna happen soon....to my dear partner in crime....thanks for being there when i needed someone.....as much as i hate to be dependent....yea im ego....haha...thanks anyway....
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