thunderstorm

i wonder if anyone still bothers reading this dead blog..i did say that i would try to blog more often but this is not gonna be an entertaining post i suppose. more like a zombified rant. i feel like im in some sort of eerie unsettling calm before the storm. i feel so unmotivated. i just keep distracting myself with stupid iphone games but when it's late at night and da games dont suffice da thoughts just keep surfacing. despite all da plans i made..was planning to record my ep..about 3 songs i guess..gonna do an album photoshoot..gonna hire someone to do my album art. i converted my account into a page to promote myself. i even did all da music arrangements for my songs! had all these plans laid out but you know what's missing? my voice..i damaged my vocals chords..probably because of da halloween event and made it worse because of AFA. i keep hoping it will get better in time..but i tried singing after resting for more than a month. and i can sing easy songs..but high songs..gone...my reinforced falsetto..gone. da tone i worked so hard to achieve..gone. and i seriously dont know if my voice will ever go back to normal. it's a lot raspier than it was before. and my falsetto's supposed to be da best part of my voice. how nice can a raspy falsetto be. so what of my dreams now? i am made for this. i feel such a strong calling towards this and i am so passionate about it. but if i cant sing what am i supposed to do then. what the fuck in da world am i supposed to do then. what is da reason for my existence. my tenacity is like a freaking cockroach. disgusting and psychotic. perhaps this is god's way of telling me that this is not it? after being kicked down beyond my limit? or is this some sort of tragic comedy and life's just screwing with me? this happened once before. in jc. then i was still into music..just not piano and vocals..but trumpet. i practiced till my lips bled..my gums cut by da pressure. every freaking day. my lips literally looked like sausages. then one day i couldnt breathe properly and when i went to check it out..i found out that it was because i had torn my lung lining. it was then that i really had to give it up. is there something wrong with me? i mean must something really terrible happen to me before i get it? so once again i am here wondering...what da fuck am i supposed to do then. 


i feel like im surrounded by people who dont even think deeply. feels like all they think about are games homework..girls guys..makeup..kpop. do people nowadays just have no depth? or have they been blinded by they way society thinks? or is everyone using all these as a distraction cos they dont wanna ponder so much about such stuff? does anyone ever wonder why..what's da reason for existing? is there a purpose for living beyond just getting good grades good job good spouse good family? told you it was gonna be a zombified rant. 


just take me beyond reality where da spirits fly and never die.

wao :3

it's really been sucha a long time haha..my blog's been collecting spideywebs. anyway im going try blogging more often. ohisashiburi minna :x

Canon Blog

lol my blogposts are finally up on da canon website. did a couple of posts on da mosaic music festival do check it out!

★Click here★

Ciao!

頭が痛い

i feel so left behind. everyone's moving forward towards their dreams and im still stuck here. im tired of  waiting for this neverending drought to end.

Crash and Burn

I wanna write bone chilling..drug intoxicating..music that touches you down to the deepest corner of your soul. never seems to be enough..sick of feeling inadequate. da irony of being happy..it makes me soo complacent. and i dont think i should allow myself this tiny bit of pleasure before achieving what i want so badly. i guess i just kinda let da desperation slip. i start to question da importance of it and other possibilities. but who am i kidding. it has never changed. what i want has never changed. 

Contest!

★★★Stand a chance to win the latest Canon IXUS 220HS★★★

All you have to do is photograph something or someone extraordinary or an experience that blew your mind away!

Below are some pictures that I really like:

(photos do not belong to me, property of their respective owners)

Whatever you find interesting, a style, a look, something cute or out of the blue..anything that floats your boat would be great! Don't miss out on this opportunity!

Submit your pictures here

↓

Canon Style IXUS Contest

All da best!

★Canon Style Council★

Helloo! I previously mentioned that I'm part of the Canon Style Council together with Moe Moe Kyun & Atelier Royale peeps right? Anyway da site is finally up! 

Click here!

↓

★★★Canon Style Council★★★

Do check it out! With the latest Canon IXUS 220 HS by our side (kindly sponsored by Canon lols) our various experiences and adventures are all documented with creativity and simplicity! Loving all da cool effects especially da toy camera one lols

Presenting da Style Council~~~

Miyake

Yutaki

Nicole (Celebrity DJ)

Beryl (hitomi~cyan)

Jasoun (Jin)

Valerie (Miyu~cyan)

Hellven (Hiroshi~kun)

Jasmine (Rina~pyon)

Jeff (Haru~kun)

俺様だ！

On da extreme right is Alvin..an otaku blogger~

Stay tune for our latest exploits and happenings!

演技初めて！

dismissing da retarded videos on my youtube...lols..i acted for da first time! hahahaa got a couple of roles this month but i dont think it'll be on tv. only for corporate viewing i think? lols so funny..da first time i did it da director kept telling me not to float around HAHA! oh man my pontianak characteristics are being portrayed through my acting hahahaha i dont have any behind da scene shots though..not much of a picture taker. i should seriously start taking more pictures...especially since i have a camera now lols.

anyway im gonna be at da men's fashion week event tomorrow. gonna be supporting my bestie. kinda excited and feeling nervous for him i hope he does well.  i must remember to take pictures tomorrow. hahahaha

仕事はめんどくさいね

can someone please tell me why is it so difficult to find a job? okayy fineee cos im picky. but seriously i've been browsing job ads for ages. da preschool job's not enough. it's only twice a week for a couple of hours each..how am i gonna pay for my piano!? ughhh i just need a flexible job so i can still concentrate on my music...and pay for my lessons. this sucks. event jobs anyone??? 助けて〜〜〜〜

･･･おろおろ((T.T； )(； T.T))おろおろ･･･

ooooohisaaaaaaa

helloooo...im not dead but my blog sure is..lols lots of stuff going on but mostly i guess i dont have inspiration to blog about anything..i had my piano exam..i hope i get distinction lols..i found a job too..im teaching preschoolers..i guess life is pretty mundane for me right now. hopefully by next year i can achieve my grade 8...and start diploma..at da moment i've just been trying to secure a more substantial job so i can have money to pay for my lessons..events are too inconsistent...i hope this preschool thing's enough. im so sick of browsing job ads..plus its so hard to find something with short hours.

other updates...mm...i made my facebook and all private...for reasons i really couldnt be bothered to explain ahahaha oh yaa not forgetting all da ugly pictures i've been tagged in recently. UGH i never bothered much with photoshop before...anne always does it for me but lately i've started to realise its magic LOL ugly pictures begone! and BAM..bad angle? fat cheek? hahaha just liquify and it's gone. anne's awesome...love da pictures she takes of me. pictures taken by other people always need photoshop..hers just need to edit lighting and remove eyebags. she's really good at finding people's angles. maybe i should start promoting her...lols...ayes but nowadays even 15 year old kids are holding DSLR...

this picture was taken by her...only eyebags and lighting edited...im thinking of changing my blog banner to this...i really like this picture....

i wish i could take her to all my canon events...lols....personal photographer....anyway da canon site's gonna be up really soon...and im one of canon's "style council" bloggers....hahaha uhhh..i know my fashion sense is weird LOL...

in light of the recent japan crisis....i just have one thing to say....

頑張ってJAPAN!

moooooollah

お久しぶりっす〜

最近あまりブログしなかった、ごめんね！

そんなに忙しくないけど、モチベーション全然ないね　m(_ _)m

仕事を探さなきゃならないだ。ピアノが高いし、お金もう足りないし。。

すごい落ち込んでる。ここにもういたくない。。どこかでの森に入りたい！

この写真は二年前撮ったんだ。なんかもっと大人ぽいだったよね。

モデル事務所にこの写真送ってつもりです。仕事もらえるといいね〜

ちょっと心配ですけどね。最近撮れた写真は超ブッサイ（泣）

もう遅いから、じゃにゃ〜

pipipi esu

P.S WATCH BEELZEBUB

been reading da manga since long long time ago..if you like humour..action..demons..bishie characters..yankees and adventures of da demon lord..WATCH IT!

DADADA!

kyaaaa!

i love wild animals!

awwwwwwwwwwww

love this pic..here's da original link~

brain mush and jellyfish

ossu minna! 

i've been really sick..lols my brain nearly exploded from da heat. i lost 2 kg too..hahaha i guess that was da only good thing lolols i cant wait to get well! i wanna eat cakes and honeydew sago lolols dont know why i've been craving these. hope everyone is feeling okay! a lot of people have been falling sick recently...

anyway i wanna recommend this super funny anime~ lols

it's called...

Kuragehime

i told rina to watch it too and she says it's super funny so it's not just me lols! 

it's about da lives of 5 female otakus who live in da same boarding house and their contact with おしゃれ (oshare: fashionable) people. LOLS

train otaku, three kingdoms otaku, jellyfish otaku, おしゃれ人間, otaku with old man fetish (ROFL), doll otaku

what would happen whenever these otaku come into contact or see an oshare person LOLS

but there's a twist....

da oshare person is actually a....

GUY?!?!?!?!

and da no. 1 rule in da boarding house is NO GUYS ALLOWED!

hahahahaha go watch it yeaa! it's only an 11 episode anime! just finished lolols i just watched da last episode and feel like watching it again ahahahahaha mayaya is damn funny

okayyy ja nyaa everyone~ take care!!!

twenty eleven!

あけましておめでとう

（＾ω＾）＜＊パン！

今年もよろしくお願いします〜

Happy New Year Everyone! Let's hope this year would be a good one~

i ended da year rather mellowly..not usually da type to celebrate new year lols i only like to celebrate halloween and christmas hahaha i went to watch ' Nodame Live! ' with my old school friend Justin! fellow trumpeter lolols

if you haven't watched Nodame Cantabile..go watch now! it's super hiliarious!

da soloists! they played da same repertoire as da original nodame! da soloists were amazing. especially da violinist..omg she portrayed miki kiyora perfectly on stage!

my piano!

my dad took these pics..lols not bad for flintstone! lolols!

da tix! we had really bad seats..it was totally sold out and my mom's friend managed to get some for us. free LOLS

justin and me outside da concert hall..see da fox tail? lolols he got it for me from japan! SANKYUUU

best performance of da night! by da 16 year old selina tang!..you'd never believe she's 16..very very charismatic performance..really drew da audience in. maybe just not as sexy as miki kiyora hahahaha

in person she looks 16..but on stage..WOOT!

MONGOOSE FTW~ can you see da katana? it's an umbrella!

sayonaraaa 2010...lots of good and bad things happened but let's move on and continue to work towards our dreams!

p.s im sick of making resolutions. so im just gonna say i'll work hard. 

LIFE PLEASE GIVE ME STRAWBERRIES~~~

NO MORE LEMONS KTHX BAAI!