I wanna write bone chilling..drug intoxicating..music that touches you down to the deepest corner of your soul. never seems to be enough..sick of feeling inadequate. da irony of being happy..it makes me soo complacent. and i dont think i should allow myself this tiny bit of pleasure before achieving what i want so badly. i guess i just kinda let da desperation slip. i start to question da importance of it and other possibilities. but who am i kidding. it has never changed. what i want has never changed.