delirious with fever.

im going crazy..hahaha i hope i end up demented so i can laugh da rest of my life away. i just want everything to go away and disappear right now. anyway...wary that i would succumb to this madness...i decided to watch dramas and what not...and i just finished watching 'you're beautiful'...and i've learnt two things. no even if i distract myself and suppress it..it's not gonna go away. well i knew that long ago..but it's my way of dealing. and second? i have a ponytail fetish hahaha! i like guys who can pull off ponytails...of course not da long kind ehhhh

kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! lololol

i loveeeeeeee how he can look good fierce and all smileyyy

hotness lol

KYAAAAAAAA!! how cuteee!

hee hee

one last sizzling hot pic to go~~~

hahahaha hahaha ahahahahaha lolol wahahaha hehehehe buahahahaha rofl HAHAHA

it's my fuckin' nightmare.

i know i haven't been blogging. i have shitloads i want to say...but it's all a huge garbled mess. i dont even wanna begin.

nothin' except a great rock song for me to angst to. i miss rock. jazz oldies pop classic...gimme a fuckin break. im not in such a mood right now.

avenged sevenfold's nightmare..strikes straight through da heart man.

Nightmare!

(Now your nightmare comes to life)

Dragged you down below down to the devil’s show,
To be his guest forever,
Peace of mind is less than never
Hate to twist your mind, but God ain’t on your side
An old acquaintance severed,
Render of your last endeavor

Ashes burning, you can smell it in the air,
Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal.
So stand in line while banging numbers in your head,
You’re now a slave until the end of time
And nothing stops the madness turning,
haunting, yearning, pull the trigger!

You should have known
The price of evil,
And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah
Ooooh, it’s your f-ckin’ nightmare
While your nightmare comes to life

Can’t wake up in sweat, cause it ain’t over yet,
Still dancing with your demons,
Victim of your own creation beyond the will to fight,
Where all that’s wrong is right
where hate don’t need a reason
Love is self-assassination

You’ve been lied to just to rape you of your sight,
And now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel.
So sedated as they medicate your brain
And while ya slowly go insane the tell you
Give in with your best intentions
Help ya with your complications

You should have known the price of evil
And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah
No one to call, everybody to fear
Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah.
Ooooo it’s your f-ckin’ nightmare ha ha ha ha!!

(ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
Fight, fight, not to fail, fail
Not to fall, fall
Or you’ll end up like the others.
Die, die, die again, die
Drenched in sin, sin
With no respect for another
Oh!

Death, You!
Feel the fire, fire
Feel the hate, hate
Your pain is what we desire.
Lost, lost, hit the wall, wall
Watch you crawl, crawl
Such a replaceable liar.

And I know you hear their voices
(calling from above),
And I know they may seem real
(these signals of love),
But a life’s made up of choices
(some without appeal),

They took for granted your soul
And it’s ours now to steal
As your nightmare comes to life

You should have known the price of evil
And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah.
No one to call, everybody to fear,
Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah
ooooh it’s your f-ckin’ nightmare!

colour quiz

just did a colour personality test. results were astoundingly correct. well mostly.

Your Existing Situation

"He is continually trying to hide her impulsive behavior, but her actions are causing problems and doubt from others. This causes her difficulty in making progress and leaves her feeling tense and irritable." 

Your Stress Sources

"Wishes for freedom and independence, free from limitations and restrictions except for the ones she choices to give himself."

Your Restrained Characteristics

Has strong emotional demands and is picky when it comes to choosing a partner. she chooses to remain emotionally distant and uninvolved in relationships.

"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."

"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."

Your Desired Objective

Is very driven toward accomplishments and is eager to push through the difficulties that stand in her way. she is very intense and impulsive and often times her behavior leads to risk taking. 

Your Actual Problem

"Fights resistance or limitations, and insists she is free to develop in her own way. Rewarded by accomplishing things on her own, with little to no help from others." 

www.colorquiz.com 

hate.

sorry i changed da password for this post....just very personal and angsty..but if you really wanna read it..it's da meaning of my name.

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whaddaya want from me

Happily ever after, 

Through yonder dreams She wanders,

Mortal sins She no longer lusts for,

Never matter, not now, not ever.

There she lays in a bed of roses and mourning,

Hear the silent forests weeping,

White as snow, cold as snow,

On a lonely winter's morning.

Piercing through our quiet lament,

The evil witches cackle with glee;

"She's dead..She's dead!

Now all shall proclaim me Queen!" One screams.

And like a bolt out of the blue,

Lightning strikes with a sword so true...

Happily ever after,

Through yonder dreams She wanders,

Neither true love's kiss nor vengeance sweet She desired.

For through yonder dreams She wanders,

Happily ever after.

da format's a little warped this time..but i kinda like da way it turned out. my insomnia's back again. im sooo tired but i had a good day..took da time to catch up with some friends..met up with jovan edi and ko. jovan and i went hunting around for this shamscam adoption thingy. supposedly claims that one of da puppy mills were being abandoned and they needed people to adopt their pups...turned out to be a prank. we later met up with edi and spent time with julius till dinner. haha met up with ko after too...long long tiring but good day. really miss spending time with everyone. i guess im gonna try to sleep now. gutto naito lol

are you gonna bury my castle?

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thank god it's off day

im so tireddd...it's been a while since i last had a sleepless night. thought my bio clock was fixed already!? ughh..da lask of sleep made my tongue feel like lead today and my diction was terrible. haha luckily it got better. i've been singing jazz lately...and it's really tough. if you sing it straight it's fine..just really boring. but jazz is full of improvisations and it should be freestyled. been trying to imitate ella fitzergerald..haha i think she's like the goddess of improv. teach says it's something that you gain through experience...listen to more jazz and blues..and know your notes really well. i can do it...subconsciously..when im just humming a tune while walking home..or singing to glitz. but i cant do it consciously and it so darn frustrating. anyway i need to make a list...lol..just to make sure it comes to fruition...

things to do for aesthetic purposes

- apply whitening lotion once a day

- sleep before 2am..lol...

- stop eating potatoes...less carb...

- mask 3 times a week...

- hot bath once or twice...

- kickbox or swim if i have time...

things to do for music purposes

- sing chromatic scales...melodic and harmonic minor too....

- familiarize myself with new scales...

- practice plucking on da guitar...bar chords and power chords too...

- re-practice all da songs i've sung and add my own improvs...

- listen to more jazz and blues....

okay i think that's enough for now....it's half an hour past 2...and i think i should sleep...or at least try to...lol oyasumi~~